The History of Lobrau Productions Inc. begins in 1926, when Consolidated Steel Incorporated (CSInc.) divided into three subsidiaries after a Congressional hearing found it in violation of the Sherman Anti-Trust Act of 1890. The three subsidiaries, American Steel Manufacturing Incorporated, National Telecommunications Incorporated, and Logical Bromidic Automation Incorporated, each went on to varying degrees of success.
American Steel was soon bought out by US Steel, incorporating the company’s ten physical plants into its own Midwestern factory chain.
National Telecommunications Incorporated became The National Broadcasting Company with the birth of television in 1940, and has enjoyed moderate success ever since.
Finally, Logistical Bromidic Automation Incorporated was left in the hands of Howard Melvin III, son of Consolidated Steel Incorporated founder and CEO Howard Melvin, Sr.
Unfortunately, due to Melvin III’s inept management skills and the dwindling market for bromidic automatons, Logical Bromidic Automation Incorporated tanked and filed for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy on August 1st, 1962. In order to pay off its many creditors, all of the company’s physical assets were liquidated, including its manufacturing plant, corporate headquarters in Sioux City, Idaho, and Melvin’s minor league baseball team, The Sioux City Bromides.
For the next thirty-three years, Logical Bromidic Automation Incorporated existed in name only, its worthless shares tucked away in a trunk at the summer home of Howard Melvin IV, son of Howard Melvin III.
Finally, in 1995, a teenaged cartoonist named Kevin McShane secured sole ownership of Logical Bromidic Automaton Incorporated at a garage sale in his native Bethesda, Maryland. Officially shortening the company’s name to Lobrau Productions Inc, Kevin used the company name to publish his own comic strips and comic books, including Ogle the Frugle, George Prep, and the crowd-pleasing Toupydoops.
Officially incorporated in 2005, Lobrau Productions Inc. is headquartered in beautiful downtown Studio City, California. With young, forward-thinking, and devilishly handsome CEO Kevin McShane at the helm, Lobrau Productions Inc. looks forward to producing the world’s most mediocre entertainment, and is considering a limited manufacturing run of the company’s outstanding bromidic automatons.
The first incarnation of the Lobrau Productions website appeared as a single node on ARPAnet in 1970, concurrent with BBN’s East Coast IMP connection to the fledgling network. The site consisted of a single folder, named “lobrau,” which contained only two files: a small database of telephone auto-dialer codes, and a short text file, which reportedly contained a crude joke about “poo-poo.”
Over the next fifteen years, this “Lobrau Node” became a repository for a wide variety of miscellaneous files on the emerging Internet. Members of the Menlo Park, CA-based Homebrew Computer Club used the node as an unofficial archive of the group’s minutes. ARPAnet engineers used the node to pass encrypted messages back and forth. And the node once reportedly contained an entire, unedited transcript of the 18 1/2 minute gap in the Nixon Watergate tapes.
With the rise of Usenet in the late 1980s and early 1990s, the Lobrau Node morphed into its own newsgroup, alt.binaries.lobrau. Much like the original Lobrau Node, the newsgroup became a mildly famous holding bin for crude humor and annoying memes, including the first known appearance of the famous “Dancing Baby” animated GIF on the Internet. However, the emergence of a another, similarly named newsgroup, alt.binaries.lobrau.naked.chicks.doinit, soon tarnished alt.binaries.lobrau’s already less than stellar reputation, and by 1992, the alt.binaries.lobrau newsgroup was all but abandoned, choked by voluminous porn postings.
The birth of the Lobrau Productions website on the World Wide Web occurred in 1995 when Lobrau Central first appeared on the Georgetown Preparatory High School server, as created by Lobrau CEO Kevin McShane. The site, and its subsequent incarnations on the Oberlin College web server, gained a tiny bit of notoriety by hosting a cult-favorite parody of Quentin Tarantino’s Reservoir Dogs entitled Suburban Dogs.
In 1999, Kevin McShane mugged a hobo behind a local Roy Rogers restaurant to acquire the “lobrau.com” domain. Since then, the site has flirted with legitimacy, providing mildly amusing content in short spurts of prolific updates and complete redesigns, followed by months and months of neglect.
The current Lobrau Productions website was designed and lovingly hand-coded by Kevin McShane on a Mac. It is held together with spitballs, masking tape, and Texpattern.