I have been dating a wonderful woman for the last two years. We are trying to make it permanent, but we have one sticking point. She has several men friends, some from past relationships, that she still sees casually. She insists on spending weekends alone with them, either at their home or at her summer house in the country.

I feel this is inappropriate for someone in a serious relationship. She says I "don't trust her," and we cannot have a relationship unless I get over this attitude. Is she right? Am I being unreasonable?

Yeah, dump her. She's going down on a bunch of old sausages like it's return to golden pond. Hell with that. I was playing Neogeo Battle Coliseum on the PS2, and dude, Haohmaru is so overpowered. All I did was press the hard slash button over and over and I unlocked all the secret characters and endings. What a gyp. Good graphics though.

When I was 16 I fell in love with the handsomest man I had ever seen. I'll call him "Mike." Apparently everyone else thought so, too. Mike loved the women and they loved him, and our relationship ended.

After many years we were reunited. We have been together for three years now. Mike has changed a lot since high school. His personality is every woman's dream now. He is thoughtful, considerate, and tells me he loves me every day. He has apologized repeatedly for his past.

The problem is, he's no longer as attractive as he used to be. Over the years he has neglected his body, teeth, skin and hair. He is a diesel mechanic, and his hands and fingernails are embedded with grease. We no longer look like we belong together, and I'm embarrassed to introduce him to friends. (They chuckle under their breath when they see him.)

My friends and I like to go to fancy places, and even when Mike is dressed up, he doesn't look right. Forgive me if this seems shallow. I have kept my youthful looks. I still wear a size 8, and no one can believe I have three grandchildren.

How do I deal with this? I love Mike. I love being with him and talking to him. But I can't seem to overcome these feelings.

You're fat. Size 8. Mike is too good for your granny ass. I don't bang anything over a 2 without a lot of booze. With enough booze I'll bang anything, and that's the problem. Sometimes it gets ugly. If you gave me a bottle of whiskey and hung around long enough, I'd bang you. That's not very braggable though, because you're a size 8, and apparently you're a bitch.

I am a professional man in my early 40s. When I was in my late teens, I started losing my hair. By the time I was 22, I was almost completely bald.

Someone suggested that I get a wig, so I did. I have been wearing it for years. Now, however, I'm uncomfortable with the wig. I think it's obvious that it's not my own hair, and I'm self-conscious about it.

I'd like to stop wearing the wig, but I wonder what my co-workers will think. Also, my mother tells me that my head is shaped a little "funny." But I feel like a fraud when I'm wearing the darn thing. What do you suggest?

Dude, you wear a wig? You should upgrade it and get the Ronald McDonald red wig and see what happens. But really man, you are a fraud. It's time to look at yourself in the mirror, with the wig on, and accept the truth.

Maybe you're a cancer patient. I'm sorry.

My grandmother loves to shop, and she spends a pretty penny buying us grandkids all kinds of gifts -- mostly clothes and shoes. But my grandmother is decades older than we are, and her sense of style leaves much to be desired.

We accept graciously, then usually donate her gifts to Goodwill, hoping that an older person might buy them and enjoy them. A problem has come up, though. Last night, Grandma e-mailed to ask for one of her gifts -- a pair of shoes -- back!

Teeter - I gave those shoes away two weeks ago. This morning, I searched at Goodwill, hoping to buy them back, with no luck. What do I tell my grandmother? I know she'll be furious -- and I'm afraid she'll ask about all the other gifts, most of which I don't have either.

You should send her a pair of old shoes. Dude, we're talking about a sweet old woman with Alzheimer's, who's been horny and forlorn since the '80s, when "Harold" was rockin' the David Lee Roth wig.

Wigs are about as fake as Shia being a tough guy, or Indy's son. What a sham. I want my $10 back.