My new boss is a nervy man who barks orders at everyone, and has a huge belly. I'll call him Tony. Every few weeks on a whim, Tony schedules office potlucks on company time and orders his employees to bring homemade dishes as a "team-building" exercise.

Tony frequently reminds us that each dish MUST be homemade. As late as the day before a potluck, he'll post a sign-up sheet in the lunchroom that dictates food categories and limits. (For example, only two people may bring salads, etc.)

I e-mailed my boss asking if I could bring a high-quality store-bought item, because between working full time and my long commute, spending time in the kitchen isn't something I care to do. Tony never bothered to answer. With great resentment, I ended up making a large tuna casserole at midnight for the potluck the next day.

Teeter, are employees like me powerless in these circumstances? How can I avoid participating in the potlucks without being labeled insubordinate or getting punished? No one else in our office has spoken up, but each time that sign-up sheet is posted, the tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife.

You don't have to do a good job at your cooking. Make a crappy meal. Or tell your boss that you can't afford to make a meal. Overall, if your boss pushes you to take your own time and money to feed the company, and him, charge him for the cost. Send him the bill.

I bet you were expecting me to say you should spruce the meal with your own special spice. On that note, better to spice the meal with a strong laxative.

My husband and I invited an acquaintance -- I'll call her Rachel -- to our housewarming party. As I was showing her the bedroom, Rachel asked to see an opal ring that she noticed me wearing on the day we met. I opened my jewelry box and watched as she tried it on.

Just then, the doorbell rang and I rushed to answer it. With all the goings-on of the party, I completely forgot about Rachel and the opal ring until she said her goodbyes. Rachel laughingly told me the ring had gotten stuck on her finger and she couldn't get the "darn thing" off. Then she was gone.

That was two months ago. Rachel moved out of town and left no forwarding address. My husband and I couldn't locate her. The ring belonged to my husband's late grandmother and was a gift to me on our wedding day. My husband's mother and sister are furious with me for allowing Rachel to walk off with an heirloom. They have been pressing me to track her down and take her to court.

I continued to search for her with no luck until last week, when Rachel called and said she was in town and would like to drop by. She never showed up. I'm beginning to wonder if she will ever return my ring. I want to avoid conflict and am trying to think of a way to get it back without having to go to court. What should I do?

It's not your fault that someone stole your family heirloom. If people want to give you grief for it, call them out on being bitches. If the ring means so much to them, tell them who stole it and tell them to help you find her. It's not your duty to give a crap about a stupid ring.

Tell your husband that he should get his mom and sister off your sack. They're out of line by going after you to do the impossible. Tell him if he wants to sleep easy at night, he should talk to his family, otherwise you're going to sleep with a pair of scissors under the pillow.

Last weekend I asked to borrow a glass pitcher from my sister for a party I was having. Her husband arrived a few minutes before the party with the pitcher in hand. As he handed it to me, I noticed a large crack on the side. I pointed it out to him and gave it back.

My sister called me later, asking, "What about my pitcher?" I explained that it had arrived damaged and that I was not responsible. She says I must replace or compensate her for it in some way, because the pitcher would not have left her house that day if I hadn't asked to borrow it!

I'm not sure how the pitcher was handled during the four-minute car ride to my home. I do know it was placed unprotected on the front seat. The temperature was very cold that day, possibly in the single digits. My sister says the extreme variation in temperature between her house and the car and then into my house caused the crack.

I consulted two well-known retailers. The customer service representatives from both companies said they had never heard of such a complaint from any of their customers. One went on to say that their company ships items through the mail daily, where products are exposed to outside temperatures, and still had no complaints from customers about receiving broken items. Who is responsible for the pitcher?

You don't have a duty to pay unless the damage occurred while in your possession, or before returning to the possession of your sister. If you were to order something online, you'd expect to be able to return it if it arrives broken.

Your sister must be confusing this transaction with some unagreed to INCOTERMS clause, like CFR, where the risk of damage would pass to the buyer after the goods reach the first carrier. But we're going to apply American common sense to this one and say she's batshit crazy and you owe her jack shit.

Dear Teeter: My 14-year-old nephew, "Michael," does not acknowledge my husband, "Todd," when we give him joint gifts. Todd's name is signed on every card; his name is on every gift. There is no animosity between them. Michael just doesn't thank Todd, and my husband is offended.

I want to mention this to my brother, Michael's father, but I don't want to start WWIII over such a little thing. Any advice?

I'd first tell Todd that you could ask Mike's parents to remind Mike to thank Todd for the gifts too, but that Todd would probably look like a whiney spoiled kid.

I spent years receiving gifts and not even thanking people for them properly. It's nothing to be proud of, but I was a kid. I'm better about it now, slightly.

I don't see the big deal in gifts for your sibling's kids. It's not like you really want to give the gifts. You're obligated to. And if you want to give the gifts, then who cares. Does Todd buy the gifts? If so, he can go by the old Ben Franklin logic of not buying more gifts for those who don't thank you. If he's not buying the gifts, then he should STFU.