Dear Teeter: My daughter is 12 and starting to want to wear makeup. She is quite a tomboy and would rather play basketball than do "girly" things.

She wore makeup to the movies last weekend, and her father was very upset. He ordered her not to do it again. She tells me kids are making comments about her because she doesn't dress like a girl or wear makeup. I don't see anything wrong with her wearing it once in a while.

What's your take on this? Is her dad right, or am I being too easy? Is there a compromise?

Her dad doesn't want her slutting around and doing tricks. He knows what guys think, and what he thought when he was a kid. He probably also doesn't want to be getting wood from his daughter. Tell her dad to stop looking at her.

Ask her dad if he likes pretty girls. Remind him where pretty girls come from. Remind him that make up companies make pretty girls. Tell him to stop hating on the make up.

Personally I think a woman should try to look good. Take yourself for example. You should always try to look your best at all times. Of course, you should know how to put on your own makeup not to look like a clown.

My daughter, "Vanessa," just started middle school, and she has fallen in with the wrong crowd. She walks around the house with a chip on her shoulder, wearing what looks to us like boys' clothes. She curses and lies, and she and her new friends have vandalized the girls' restroom four times. Her latest trick is to forge my signature on school papers.

I have discussed these problems with the school. They suggested counseling and therapy. What I want is advice on how to discipline Vanessa for all the wrongs she has done.

How do I guide my daughter down the right path?

The problem is that your girl's name is Vanessa. This has been a traditionally evil name spanning back to Vanessa Warfield, who used to work for V.E.N.O.M. under Miles Mayhem. My memory on this is really fuzzy, but she was kind of hot, drove a flying sports car, and total bitch.

There's also Vanessa from the Little Mermaid, who was the alter ego for Ursula, as she tried to steal the prince charming character from Ariel. Long story short, this name, Vanessa, has been tied to evil-doers for a long time.

You should beat her. Go in her room at night or early in the morning, while she's asleep, and punch her in the nose. When she asks you wtf you tell her that's what she gets for forging your signature, and that next time you'll break her legs. If I were you, I would totally kick her ass, dude.

You should also go kick her friends' asses. Take a bat to their heads and show your daughter that you are a force to be reckoned with. Make sure you also pack heat in case the pigs come.

I'm sort of reminded of the Southpark where the kids all get into this Chinpokomon fad and are completely obsessed with it. The Parents turn them off to it by pretending to be into it too. Maybe you should approve of her behavior, so that she turns to dislike it. Nothing is more uncool than parents. You should use that to your advantage.

I just turned 13. My best friend, "Gina," moved an hour away, and we have kind of drifted apart. On Saturday, I ran into her at my friend's house here in town. We all went to the mall, and Gina met "Frankie," a 16-year-old guy who goes to my school.

Well, Frankie came back to my friend's house (her parents weren't home), and he and Gina were all over each other. They were hot and heavy on the couch while my friend and I tried to watch TV. To make a long story short, Frankie and Gina ended up having sex right there in the same room with us. I couldn't believe what I was seeing -- they hadn't known each other more than a few hours.

The news about Frankie and Gina spread fast. Everyone wants to know if I still consider Gina my friend. Kids are calling her "easy," along with other names I won't mention.

As much as I want to be her friend, I'm worried about getting a bad reputation if I stick up for her. Plus, I'm scared my mom will hear about what went on that day. What should I do?

In a few years, all your friends will be having sex. When that happens, are you going to break off friendships with all the girls you know? So Gina got a head start on the crowd - no reason to cut ties with her. In fact, you should consider that having Gina as a friend may help you out. With her putting out for the guys, you can probably get into some parties or concerts. It's not like you would be pimping her out if you're just there.

The sad thing is that she's 13 and her dude probably pressured her a lot for sex. Statutory rape laws do exist for a reason. Either way, you and Gina should stay as friends. Who cares if she's shagging retards.

My first screw was an easy chick. In fact, most of my screws were easy. No girl wants to be called easy, but the fact is, most are when they start having sex. If they aren't in a relationship with a guy, they're probably doing someone. You really shouldn't put girls on a pedestal and think of them as something that should be pure. That's what they may want to hear publicly, but in reality, just know they're as horny as you are.

I'm 11 and in sixth grade. I recently caught a girl in my class copying off my paper. When I asked her not to, she denied doing it. The next day, she started copying down my answers word for word. This time, I asked her if she would like to pair up and work together. She sneered at me and told me to get my "help" from the teacher.

I told the teacher then, and the teacher replied, "She is having trouble with her work and personal problems at home. Just imagine if this math was hard for you."

The girl has ADHD. Should I continue to let this girl copy me?

Teachers are pretty stupid actually. It doesn't take a big I.Q. to teach kids when the curriculum is right there in front of you. It's basically babysitting with a lesson plan.

If you really have a problem with the girl, tell the teacher that you want your desk moved. If the teacher doesn't do it, stab that cheater in the face with a pencil. I hate cheaters.

If the teacher flips out, inform her that you're having trouble in school. Tell to imagine if controlling her sanity was as hard for her as it is for you. Stab her in the face with a pencil.